July 17, 2010 by ansleywest17
This has been an awesome journey, one that I would not have asked for but one I was blessed to walk. I have 4 more radiations left and looking back it has been 7 months of treatments and surgeries. I can’t believe I made it through. It was only through God using all of you and Himself walking hand and hand with me. God never let me look to far ahead. He was my helper day-to-day. I would awake everyday and we would talk and talk about what I expected out of the day. I told him I can do nothing without him. Just like the verse says, John 15:5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” I knew for the first time in my life that he was truly directing my path and I needed to stay in touch with him to know the next step as well as keeping my emotions in line with His. I have had some wonderful encounters with the Lord that one day I can’t wait to share. Those encounters encouraged me as well as strengthened my faith. God never left me in the dark, he always shined his brightest light on me. He let me know early on that I was going to be fine and after that I never questioned my mortality. I walked with such faith in knowing that he never breaks his promises and that he would see me through to the end. Isaiah 59: 1 ” Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear.”
As I wind down this incredible journey, I wander how can I ever repay my sweet Lord. I will continue to keep my eyes and ears open to know where He wants me next. In his words he has always said that we are to go out and help those that are also in need. Only God knows what is next but, I will be waiting!
Have a great day – Love, Lisa
Tags: breast cancer, cancer, chemotherapy, mother, blog, www.thepinkchronicle.com, atlanta, georgia, friends, family, www.breastcancersociety.com, breast cancer symptoms, tumor, wigs, scarf, prayers, God, www.chemoflage.com, miracle, christian, mental illness
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July 1, 2010 by ansleywest17
I have 3 more weeks of radiation and then I’m through!! I will celebrate by heading to Pontevedra, Fla. Let’s hope the oil spill never arrives. I have thrown away my scarves and I am now sporting a buzz cut. My hair looks like this baby chicks fuzz on top. I have been shopping standing right next to someone I know and they have no idea it is me. I am sort of proud of the little bit that I have now. So in the future, make sure you look at the face of someone who has tiny hair because it could be me!!!!!!!!
I have developed a rash on my chest from the radiation. All I want to do is itch it but, that is a “ No No”. The skin is so tender that if I did I could tear the skin. They are holding off 2 days of hitting those spots, to give it a rest. I have told some tricks to keep it under control. I really do like my Doctor because he is known to not let it ever get to a blister stage.
I was just given a wonderful book called “Radiation Rhema” from Carolyne Hart. She also went through all the same treatments for her breast cancer. For each day of radiation treatment she asked God to show her scriptures along with photographs to help seal them in her heart. I have just started it and I believe it will be a great visual of the scriptures. It blows me away to see how God uses each of us to help others. To me there is no greater calling than to help God’s kingdom, even though you would not have chosen that particular trail. Only God knows what we can endure even though we think we can’t. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
I also wanted to ask for prayer once again for Deborah. She has breast cancer and is now dealing with having to have surgery on her teeth. This was caused by the antibiotic she was taking for an infection on her breast. She is struggling financially and fearful of the outcome. Please pray for her to let go of fear and trust that God will see her through.
Have a wonderful 4th of July and stay safe – Love, Lisa
Tags: atlanta, blog, breast cancer, breast cancer symptoms, cancer, chemotherapy, christian, faith, family, friends, georgia, God, miracle, mother, prayers, scarf, tumor, wigs, www.breastcancersociety.com, www.chemoflage.com, www.thepinkchronicle.com
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June 29, 2010 by ansleywest17
Vincent and myself are back from visiting Ansley and Rafe. We had a wonderful time. We got to visit Santa Fe as well as the town Ansley lives in, outside of Santa Fe. We are getting so excited about the wedding, that it is hard to wait.
Monday morning started off with a long delay at Piedmont because the radiation machine broke down. There was a bit of a log jam of people waiting to get on. As I waited, I reflected on how far I have come with all my treatments. I can’t believe I am on the home stretch. As I got on the table yesterday for my treatment it broke down again but, they booted it back up. I guess by the time I left, I did get some radiation!! The machine never started up again and I was told today to go to Piedmont West. I am doubling up today on the treatment because I was out-of-town Friday. The building is where I went all those months for chemo and it felt so strange. I was thinking about how long ago that seemed when I had chemo. While having it, I thought it would last for ever. Isn’t that true about everything we don’t want to do. It is like a storm but after the storm the sun is shining and you learn to appreciate the sunny days . I also was thinking how our faith will be tested. God made Abraham a promise and his faith was tested through his only son. We too should remember Abraham and have the faith that pleases God. Hebrews 11: 6 ”Without faith it is impossible to please God, for he who comes to Him must believe that He exists, and that He is a rewarder of those who earnestly seek Him.”
Have a wonderful night – Love, Lisa
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June 23, 2010 by ansleywest17
This week will be my 3rd week of radiation. It has become such a part of my life. I wake at 7:00. eat, drink coffee, have a short prayer, shower and out the door by 8:30. I pull right up to the emergency parking, and one of the sweet men come over and say hello and direct me into a parking space. I look forward to these men, always so cheerful and wanting to stop and talk. Then, I rush to the basement floor and pull out my card to be scanned. This shows the tech.’s that I am here so they can go ahead and set up my mold on the table, while I am undressing. When I come out of the dressing room they are waiting to escort me in. There are the same 2 young women and one young man to assist me everyday with getting me set up just right on the table. We have small talk and then they are off behind the wall to turn on the radiation machine. They always have some music playing but, never fails it always skips at least twice. I am up and out of there in 2o minutes and on with my day. I have 4 more weeks left which will be here before I know it. I have started to have a small rash start on my chest but, they modified it so it will not get worse. Besides the rash I have not skipped a beat.
I leave tomorrow for Sante Fe, with Vincent to see Ansley and Rafe. Ansley has a photography show at the Art school out there on Thursday which we are so excited about seeing. There seems to always be things in life that we really don’t want to do but, at the same time God gives us things that we do want to do that lift our spirits. There are good things with the bad and it is how we deal with the bad when they come around. Sometimes the things that come with breast cancer can really get me down but then I remember that the enemy is getting my eyes off God. I then start to thank him for all the wonderful things in my life and sadness turns to joy. Isaiah 35: 10 ” and the ransomed of the Lord will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.”
Have a great weekend – Love, Lisa
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June 16, 2010 by ansleywest17
Today as I layed on the table for radiation, I was so aware of the green and red light. I caught myself wanting to control the radiation that comes out, that I closed my eyes when the red light came on and just prayed for it to be over with. I have always been that way my entire life, until this year. When anything bad happened to me or my family I would get impatient and want it to hurry up and be over with. There have been times with my family when I wanted God to hurry up and deliver us from a situation. I wanted to go in and just fix it because I thought I knew what was best. But the more and more I drew closer to God, the more and more I saw that it was a process for me or my loved ones to be made. I knew God had healed me of the cancer but, he chose for me to still go through the whole process of the treatments. I see that if I hadn’t, I would have never had this wonderful bond with God and that I would not have been able relate to others that had to also go through.
This has shown me that I am not in control and that I have to wait on God for everything. It has helped me to be patient and believe God for the miracle he has for my son in his timing. That I don’t always know what God is up to when He seems so silent and things don’t change in my timing. I find myself leaning even harder in my faith that God will bring it to pass. Romans 8 : 25 ” But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”
Have a great day – Love, Lisa
Tags: atlanta, blog, breast cancer, breast cancer symptoms, cancer, chemotherapy, christian, family, friends, georgia, God, mental illness, miracle, mother, prayers, tumor, wigs, www.breastcancersociety.com, www.chemoflage.com, www.thepinkchronicle.com
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June 14, 2010 by ansleywest17
Trumpas Church, Trumpas New Mexico
I finished a week of radiation and it was not bad at all!!! I am now situated in the needed position for my treatments. I feel very confident that the Lord is with the Tech & I everyday, which is a great feeling. It reminds me of the verse Proverbs 3:26 ” for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared”. The verse is just wonderful.
I met a man in radiation that has throat cancer. He comes in everyday with a smile on his face and Friday we spoke. He will be finished with his treatment in the upcoming week. Strangely enough, I will miss him because he was the one in our group who always sat and quietly smiled without speaking. I oddly found a comfort in him. I told him I had a good male friend who also had throat cancer. He was so curious to hear how he was doing. I was excited to tell him he was doing great and had over come the cancer. You could just feel him light up with joy and the hope that he too would have that same out come. Aren’t we all like that, wanting to be able to hear a testimony that has a fabulous outcome. I see why Jesus talked about how important it was to tell our testimony to others, so we could build them up in faith. I have always loved the story about this young man. Luke 8: 35 -36 and 38 -39 - ” and the people went out to see what had happened. When they came to Jesus, they found the man from whom the demons had gone out, sitting at Jesus’ feet, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid. Those who had seen it told the people how the demon-possessed man had been cured. The man from whom the demons had gone out begged to go with him, but Jesus sent him away, saying, “Return home and tell how much God has done for you”. This confirms to me that God wants us to help others who are going through painful times by telling our testimonies. By doing this we can give them hope in their situation.
Have a great day – Love, Lisa
Tags: atlanta, blog, breast cancer, breast cancer symptoms, cancer, chemotherapy, christian, faith, family, friends, georgia, God, mental illness, miracle, mother, prayers, scarf, tumor, wigs, www.breastcancersociety.com, www.chemoflage.com, www.thepinkchronicle.com
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June 10, 2010 by ansleywest17
Well I have had 3 radiations now. It is so strange with the machine going all around you, getting close up and then far way. I have to stay real still, with my arms above my head. As I lay there I pray for God to protect my body from the bad burns and the lasting effect that radiation can have. I find peace as I do this and keep my eye on the green and red light which tells when it begins and when it ends. Every other day they lay a second skin on my chest and then shoot the radiation. I was so excited because I thought it was to protect my skin. I was wrong because the second skin is used to heat the radiation up even more in your body to make it more effective.
As I sat and waited for my treatment, I looked around at all the people waiting their turn. The women were just like me “bald”, the men were not. I assumed the women had chemo to treat their breast cancer. I would have never believed a year ago that I would be in this group. Our group is a different group some smile, some talk nervously, some stare off and some seem sad. We women look like we were in a concentration camp, all with the same length of fuss on top. I think the same women receive radiation at this time everyday so I hope to get to know everyone. I will be a member of this group for the next seven weeks. And I told God today what an awesome group it is, it is special one I thought I would never be a member of.
1 Peter 4:8 -11 – ” Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God.” Have a great day – Lisa
Tags: atlanta, blog, breast cancer, breast cancer symptoms, cancer, chemotherapy, christian, family, friends, georgia, God, mental illness, miracle, mother, prayers, scarf, tumor, wigs, www.breastcancersociety.com, www.chemoflage.com, www.thepinkchronicle.com
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June 8, 2010 by ansleywest17
In this life we will have troubles and trials. John 16:33 “ I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart!!! I have overcome the world.” How beautiful I was thinking about that today as I was waiting for my first radiation. I can truly say I would not have been able to get through this cancer without knowing there is a wonderful God directing my path. I had God to lean on and trust because man has such limited resources, where God has infinite resources. I will never forget the day I let all my worries and fear go to God. When that happened that was the day I had complete confidence that he was in control and what a better person to be in control, instead of me. I try to stay in his words and hold on to his promises to help me remember that he is looking after me.
I hear everyday the suffering that others are going through and my heart aches for them. I just pray for all of us that we never lose sight of who created us and the love he has for us. That can be so healing.
Have a great day and don’t forget that wonderful verse – Love, Lisa
Tags: atlanta, blog, breast cancer, breast cancer symptoms, cancer, chemotherapy, christian, family, friends, georgia, God, mental illness, miracle, mother, prayers, scarf, tumor, www.breastcancersociety.com, www.chemoflage.com, www.thepinkchronicle.com
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June 7, 2010 by ansleywest17
Please note I wrote this entry only to express the emotions radiation conjures, not for anyone to feel sympathic towards me so read with open heart and mind.
I went for my radiation dress rehearsal, to make sure the machine was perfectly lined up. When I arrived, they told me that I wasn’t going to be able to hold my breath during the procedure. Tuesday’s tests revealed that when I held my breath it was not enough to help separate my heart from my chest so the dress rehearsal was a lot more detailed. The doctors reported they were going to have to go in at a much more severe angle because of my breathing.
I have to say I was o.k. up to that point. I layed on the table and 3 male Doctor’s came in and 1 female. They had me remove my gown on my left side. That is when I got sad and a little bit humiliated. I know it is their job and they don’t even think twice about it, but I did. I layed there open chested with a big scar. I felt so embarrassed because as a women we take a certain pride in our body and that day I felt like less of a woman. Since then I feel we need more female doctors for women with breast cancer. It is so tragic to loose a breast and then to have to expose it like that was sad to me. Anyways, for the next 7 weeks I will be going through radiation under these humiliating circumstances, but in the future I will bring in my spiritual armor to see me through.
I hope you all had a good weekend. Love to all – Lisa
Tags: atlanta, blog, breast cancer, breast cancer symptoms, cancer, chemotherapy, christian, family, friends, georgia, God, miracle, mother, prayers, scarf, tumor, wigs, www.breastcancersociety.com, www.chemoflage.com, www.thepinkchronicle.com
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June 2, 2010 by ansleywest17
These last few weeks I have prayed for the Lord to show my Doctor’s that I really didn’t need the radiation. The three were to sit down and discuss my report. I was so hopeful that I wouldn’t have to have the radiation. Well yesterday I went in to see Dr. Schwbald who is head of radiology and he proceeded to set the date to start. I just sat there in a state of shock. I asked him if he saw my report and how they found NO cancer. He said he did but, that not one of the Doctor’s could make that call to not do radiation because of the size of the tumor before. I spent the next 2 hours preparing for my dress rehearsal on Friday. They made a mold for my body so I would stay in the right position and not move. They showed me how to hold my breath so that my heart would be separated from my body. And then they put 2 tatoo’s on my chest so that the ray’s would know exactly where to hit. I have laughed about that one because I told Cubby I would never have a tatoo and how horrible they were. Now I will have 4 counting the nipples. The moral of the story is to “never say never” .
I left Piedmont yesterday talking to God trying to reason with him because I know it is all gone. Then I remembered how he walked in the chemo room with me everyday and held my hands. He taught me to really trust that He and He alone could reverse the chemo and I would feel fine. So I will go with the same attitude. I believe that God will walk in there everyday for 7 weeks and direct the machines. I am asking for no scaring, no burns on my skin and no effects to the rest of the body but, just where the lymph nodes are around my breast. This will be a wonderful miracle for me and it also will keep me walking closer each and everyday with my creator.
God speaks about how we should delight ourselves in his word, and that we will bear roots below and fruit above. Psalm 1:1-3 ” Blessed is the man who does not walk in counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season and whose leaf does not wither; and whatever he does will prosper.” So I will continue to mediate on his words asking how I can change so that I am living as God wants.
Have a wonderful day – Love, Lisa
Tags: atlanta, blog, breast cancer, breast cancer symptoms, cancer, chemotherapy, christian, family, friends, georgia, God, miracle, mother, prayers, scarf, tumor, www.breastcancersociety.com, www.chemoflage.com, www.thepinkchronicle.com
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